


Confessions

by BigDumbBaby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I'm gonna put a warning for, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Self Harm, Unrequited Love, just in case, kenhina - Freeform, shout out to Ben who only wants me to suffer.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigDumbBaby/pseuds/BigDumbBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma confesses to Hinata</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> yet another request from my haikyuu!! Imagines blog. Thank.
> 
> "What about a Kenhina for the vday event, where one of them confesses abt their feelings, but it's one sided?"

Kenma doesn’t quite knows what led him to this decision, but he’s determined now to confess his feelings to Hinata. He’s really not sure how to do so, nor if it’s the right thing to do, but he does know that he’s tired of running from himself like this. Hinata deserves to know, and maybe he deserves to get it off his own chest.

  
He’s shaking, real bad. His fingers are stiff, and he’s sweating a little even. He can’t do much more than grip his phone in his hand, working up the courage to tell Hinata. He thinks Valentine’s Day is the best day to do this, people get swept away by the romance of the day. He knows sometimes it’s best to cling to what you’ve been given when you’ve got nothing else, and Kenma’s got nothing else but a little bit of hope.

  
Should he text? Should he call him? He doesn’t know if that’s the best course of action; he thinks if he opens his mouth he might throw up. Oh, God, how was he gonna do this? He tries to type something up, and he erases it and tries again. Nothing sounds right. He knows his feelings aren’t very well put into words, but he knows what he’s feeling, and it’s suffocating.

  
He decides to just tell him. He knows Hinata, and he’s pretty sure that even if he does say something and his feelings aren’t returned, Hinata of all people would be able to make it feel like normal even if Kenma couldn’t. He thinks of Hinata’s smiling face, his intensity, and the warmth that spreads throughout Kenma’s body when it’s all focused on him and takes a deep breath.

  
‘Hey, Shouyou, I’ve got something really important to say.’

  
Hinata’s pretty quick to reply, he usually is.  
‘Happy vday kenma!!!! Wats up??’

  
Kenma can’t very well calm his nerves, and finds himself tugging on his hair when he types his reply.

  
‘Um, I know this is… Sudden but, I really just need to get this off my chest and I think I shouldnt keep it from you any longer but… I really like you Shouyou’

  
'I like u 2 kenma!!! ٩꒰๑ ´∇`๑꒱۶’

  
Kenma snorts, the situation isn’t at all funny, but it’s so “Hinata” to completely misunderstand.

  
'I mean I like you. Like romantically, I guess’

  
The time stretches on and there’s no reply from Hinata, and Kenma starts to get nervous again. He said something he shouldn’t have, he definitely should kept his feelings to himself. No one wants someone like him to confess to them. Especially someone like Hinata.

  
His phone rings and it scares him, he jumps near out of his skin. He answers it without checking who it is.

  
“Kenma?” Hinata’s voice sends shivers down his spine and he freezes.

  
“Um, sorry for calling you instead of answering through text, but I wanted to hear you.”

  
“Mm…” Kenma can’t manage more but a hum of acknowledgement and he grips onto his arm, trying to calm himself.

  
“Uh, well, I mean… Were you joking with me?”

  
“Joking?”

  
“Yea, like you weren’t serious were you?”

  
“Huh?”

  
“Well, it’s just…” Hinata pauses and clears his throat awkwardly, “I mean, I really like you and I value you a lot as my friend. I really respect you and I care a lot about what you think of me and your opinions, and I think you’re really cool and brave, but…” He pauses again and Kenma can hear his breaths puff out against the phone.

  
“But?…” He knows what’s coming. He waits patiently for it, digging his nails into his skin.

  
“But… I can really only see you as a friend. I have someone I like already, so…”

  
Kenma looks down at his lap and stays silent for a while. No one would want someone like him. ESPECIALLY Hinata.  
“Are you there Kenma?” Hinata sounds worried, and his voice leaves Kenma feeling cold in a sense. And sick, really really sick. He forces a laugh.

  
“I was just joking, Shouyou. I didn’t think you’d fall for it so easy.” Hinata sighs and laughs as well, it rings in Kenma’s ears.

  
“Oh, good! I mean, even if you did it wouldn’t change anything between us, you know? I wouldn’t let it ever! But I am glad you were joking, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or anything you know?”

  
“Haha, yea no worries.”

  
“Anyway, what are you gonna do today Kenma?”

  
“Dunno.” He wishes the call would end, he’s got some wallowing in misery that won’t suffer on its own.

  
“Well, you wanna know a secret?” He continues without Kenma answering. “I’m going on a date today!” Salt in the wound.

  
“I’m only saying this because it’s you, but…” Hinata pauses, like its for dramatic effect, “it’s with Kageyama.” He must have covered his mouth to suppress his giggles, because they’re muffled.

  
“Ah…”

  
“Anyways, I’ve gotta go finish getting ready! I’ll talk to you later Kenma!”

  
Hinata hangs up and Kenma is left with static and an empty loneliness. He drops his phone to the floor and crawls back under his blankets. Today is a stay in bed kind of day.

  
He thinks of Hinata’s laugh and how it’s still ringing in his ears, and realizes how badly he wants it gone. He hugs himself, curling into a ball and scratching at his skin. It’s still ringing, so he scratches harder, he feels a sting and realizes he’s bleeding, but decides that’s an issue for later. Maybe never. He realizes he’s crying. He tucks his knees under his chin and pulls the blankets right around him, shutting his eyes to world and enveloping himself in darkness.

  
Tomorrow, this will be another wrinkle between his brows. Tomorrow, Hinata will be back to normal and Kenma will put on the face he always wears around him. How does he normally compose himself around Hinata? That’s another issue for tomorrow. Maybe the stars will fall tonight and he can wish for Hinata to love him back. What’s he thinking? Stupid. He’s always been alone like this, so what’s the rest of eternity? He’ll get through this. He always gets through it.

  
Kenma doesn’t mind the silence, the world began quietly and maybe that’s how he’ll end too.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably just upload the longer requests from the blog onto here


End file.
